Struggling

I'm caught in a vicious circle...I've been so fatigued since my last chemo treatment, so I rest, but probably resting too much, so when I do try to do anything, I feel so puny (that weak, shaky, clammy feeling you have after a bout of the flu), that I have to give up or really struggle.  This is affecting my attitude, leading me into a bit of depression, which just feeds back into giving up because everything is a struggle.  I think I'm past the body/muscle aches, but am finding it difficult to generate any energy or push myself to do anything.  I hate this.

Today I reluctantly got up, got dressed and shuffled to my desktop computer.  Paid some bills and decided to do my taxes.  I'm glad I did...I feel better for it, mentally at least.  Tomorrow I am going with Jack to his doctor appointment and Tuesday is my bloodwork day.  Maybe I'll even have Jack take me to my local glass shop and get some new glass.  I hope to stay down in the studio at least one of those days for a while and work on some glass.  I miss my glass.  I do have some pieces to pack up for shipping and I have some pieces that I need to make for some orders.  I know being down there will lift my spirits. 

I hate whiners.  I think I've said it before and I think I've admitted to being a whiner on a couple of occasions.  So I will need these upcoming outings for an attitude adjustment...I'll snap out of it.  The journey is just not pleasant, especially if anyone is around me, which fortunately, only includes Jack and he handles it pretty well.  He pushes me gently when needed and not so gently when I really need it.

Think I'll go paint my toenails a different color.  That cheers me up.  Strange but true.

Oh, and I still really like rubbing my stubbly head...is that weird???  LOL  Hey, maybe there's money to be made...$1 a rub!  It could go to cancer research!